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January, 2001    ·    Volume 2   ·    New Year's Edition     
Note - All links have been disabled in this case study
A unique and darn fine newsletter of incredibly useful Internet joy, from GO.com. Written, edited, and groomed like a fine French poodle to fluffy perfection by Buzz Daley (buzz_daley@go.com), World-Brightening Genius™.

"It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day."
-- Detective Frank Drebin, ponderingly, from "Police Squad!" (1988)
In This Issue
•  Are You Gonna Eat That?
•  That New Car Smell
•  That New Puppy Smell
•  Gimme Gimme Good Livin'
•  Daddy Needs A New Pair Of Shoes
•  Is That A Dragon On Your Thigh?
•  Take This Job And...
•  You May Already Be A Winner
•  Gong Xi Fa Cai!

HEY LOOK, IT'S FTWG
GO.com readers! Sushi fans! Sundry middle managers! It's a new month, a new year, you might be wearing a new pair of socks, and hence here's a brand-new issue of "From the Word GO," GO.com's deliriously wry monthly newsletter, back again with more links and invaluable Net tools than you can shake a New Year's kazoo at, all peppered like a juicy hormone-free steak with cool ads you don't have to click but we hope you do because they're really good and that's the only way yours truly, Buzz Daley, gets to keep churning out these linkalicious gems every month, at least until he finds a rich European patron to cater to his every whim and polish his fine Prada boots with imported Russian mink oil. But that's another newsletter.

It's all about new beginnings, a new president (no groaning, please), new digs, new shoes, a new you, newness overall. Sound good? Of course it does. That's our theme and we're sticking to it. Shall we begin, then?

ARE YOU GONNA EAT THAT?: No more meatball subs! No more cold pizza at 3 a.m.! No more creamed herring milkshakes! Yessir, Buzz knows his New Year's resolutions as well as anyone when it comes to that most glorious of human needs, food. From now on, it's tofu and brown rice and Brussels sprouts galore, I swear. Or maybe I should just dig into a page full of low-fat recipes, or another crammed like a sausage calzone with healthy dieting advice? Bring on the broccoli in 2001, baby.

THAT NEW CAR SMELL: Finally ready to junk that old AMC Pacer? Hankerin' for one of those sweet little bad-boy Chrysler PT Cruisers? Worried about dealers raking you on the price? Solution: Do your homework before buying. Our guide is your one-stop shop to get detailed data and reviews, insurance info, price quotes and more about all makes and models, even those brutish Hummers, which have to be the ugliest vehicle ever and should probably be banned for being so bloated and pollutive and annoying. Just an opinion. Gotta love those delicious little Audi TTs, though.

THAT NEW PUPPY SMELL: If there's one thing Buzz Daley wants more than anything else in this world it's a new chocolate Labrador puppy, maybe a Dobie or a Razorback, a sweet little bundle o' fur that'll eventually grow strong and loping with a big lolling tongue, a happycute dog with which I can play fetch all day in the park with one of those big rubber Kong things. Alas, Buzz Daley's landlord frowns on pets. Buzz Daley's landlord sucks Milk Bones. But at least I can read about puppy training, breeds, and of course cats, birds, snakes, and a whole farm's worth of other domestic animals. Remember to spay or neuter, good people.

GIMME GIMME GOOD LIVIN':
I know, I know. It's real estate. How exciting could it be? Well hey, it's the new year, a new millennium -- maybe it's time for a new pad? Shake up your housing universe! New décor? New couch? New set of spatulas? Why not? Out with the old, in with the new, Buzz always says. But then again I live in a city where the housing market is meaner'na feral cat in heat and real estate is basically a religion. Or a cult. Hard to tell. From building your own house to home improvement, renting, leasing, neighborhood guides, and the ever-popular "lots more."

DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES: So you've finally decided to get the tongue stud and the leather chaps and wear only Versace mesh T-shirts and stiletto boots and walk the world like you're forever on a catwalk. Clearly, you are very weird. For the rest of us fashion-forward folk, it's a whole panoply of designers, models, fads, hair, jewelry, and even fashion history. Ready for a new look? Bring it on.

IS THAT A DRAGON ON YOUR THIGH?: When the going gets rough, the rough get inked. Then again, nothing says "Bring on the new year" better than a nice dollop of ink injected straight into your skin, permanently, maybe a swell dragon or a flaming skull or picture of your favorite Backstreet Boy. We're talkin' tattoos, and we've got a great page for them too. (Buzz's advice: Avoid designs from the wall of most tattoo shops. Check the artist's portfolio, get something unique -- like a picture of a fierce half-naked Amazonian forest queen riding on the back of a giant wild boar. Or something.)

TAKE THIS JOB AND...: So you've got the new Montana ranch and the new lemon-yellow Ferrari and the sexy new tattoo and now of course it's time to march straight into your boss's office, strip to your underwear, sing 'Taps' at the top of your lungs, and saunter boldly out of that miserable cubicle farm and head to greener pastures. (Unless of course you're happy at your job, in which case we apologize to your boss and take it all back). It's the jobs page, on GO.com.

CAPRICORNS ARE COOL:
What does the new year hold? Will you find love/money/success/a decent burrito in this crazy convoluted world? GO.com's wildly popular Horoscopes know all, see all, tell all. And btw, Buzz Daley himself is a Capricorn. He prefers rockin' silver jewelry, Armani underwear, and cases of Grand Marnier as birthday gifts. In case you were, y'know, curious.

YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER:
As far as Buzz is concerned, you're already a big juicy winner because you've read this far and you're still hangin' and I love you for it, honest. But I gotta plug a coupla GO.com contests because, well, I have no shame and the marketing department is giving me that look again:

Actually Cool Contest # 1: Win a seat on Bill Maher's wry ABC TV show, "Politically Incorrect." Be a guest panelist! Rant about the state of the world! Meet some partially famous people! You'll love it. Probably.

Possibly Cool Contest # 2: It's something to do with "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire", because goodness knows we don't get enough of that show these days. It's called the "Millionaire HotSeat Draw3", and if you're a fan, you'll dig it for sure.

Easy Contest # 3: How about entering to win a 5-day ski vacation for two to Killington, VT?

Feedback
You have opinions, we have e-operators standing by. Write to Buzz and the GO.com gang at (Buzz_Daley@go.com), let us know how much you love FTWG and can't wait for the next issue. All negative comments will be taken very seriously and then immediately deleted so we don't get all depressed. Or visit the Buzz Daley message board at GO.com, and let us know what you think (Hint: Chocolate chip cookie recipes and sundry marriage proposals take top priority.)

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Disclaimer
Not responsible for the state of the universe as it exists at this point in time. No one ever remembers to drink enough water. Prefab teenybopper boy bands are a sure sign of the apocalypse. Don't even think of parking here.

All contents (c) (tm) 2001 GO.com. Any similarities to any persons living or dead are purely strange. No goldfish were harmed in the creation of this newsletter, so far as you know.

 

Spotlight: Voice E-mail Alert!
It's the GO.com Voice E-mail Alert! Have:
Mickey Mouse
Minnie Mouse
Donald Duck
Goofy, or
Regis Philbin(?!)
alert you when new e-mail arrives in your GO.com e-mail account. Seriously. You have been warned. Just click the speaker icon next to "Send Mail on GO.com" on the GO home page. Buzz has Donald Duck quacking at him.
Voice E-mail Alert
Buzz's Net Tip of the Month
Make GO.com your home on the Web - using MS Internet Explorer, just go to the Tools menu and choose Internet Options. The General tab pops up to show you your current home page, and gives you the option of typing in a new one. Hey, how about GO.com? Perfect.

Bonus tip: Never use your computer's mouse as a coffee stirrer, flyswatter, or suppository. Trust me.
More Select Clickables
SKI REPORTS:
It's (still) that time of year, when a young man's fancy turns to deep powder and bitchin' snowboards and snow bunnies galore. That's if you're like, 16. For the rest of us, it's ski conditions, travel deals, family tips, and snow reports from all over the world.

HAPPY 4698th NEW YEAR!:
Whip out the sweet rice cake, light off some firecrackers (where legal, of course), find your Chinese astrological sign -- it's Chinese New Year, the Year of the Golden Snake, falling this year on January 24, 2001. Gong Xi Fa Cai! ("Congratulations! You will be rich!")

MP3 CENTRAL:
What's the big brouhaha about this red-hot digital music format? How do you download your fave songs and start splashing in the murky pool of potential copyright infringement and get the drummer from Metallica really upset? And what's a Napster anyway? From ripping to encoding to downloading, it's all MP3, all the time, right here.