"It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day."
-- Detective Frank Drebin, ponderingly, from "Police Squad!" (1988)

HEY LOOK, IT'S FTWG
GO.com readers! Sushi fans! Sundry middle managers! It's a new month, a new year, you might be wearing a new pair of socks, and hence here's a brand-new issue of "From the Word GO," GO.com's deliriously wry monthly newsletter, back again with more links and invaluable Net tools than you can shake a New Year's kazoo at, all peppered like a juicy hormone-free steak with cool ads you don't have to click but we hope you do because they're really good and that's the only way yours truly, Buzz Daley, gets to keep churning out these linkalicious gems every month, at least until he finds a rich European patron to cater to his every whim and polish his fine Prada boots with imported Russian mink oil. But that's another newsletter.

GIMME GIMME GOOD LIVIN':
I know, I know. It's real estate. How exciting could it be? Well hey, it's the new year, a new millennium -- maybe it's time for a new pad? Shake up your housing universe! New décor? New couch? New set of spatulas? Why not? Out with the old, in with the new, Buzz always says. But then again I live in a city where the housing market is meaner'na feral cat in heat and real estate is basically a religion. Or a cult. Hard to tell. From building your own house to home improvement, renting, leasing, neighborhood guides, and the ever-popular "lots more."

DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES: So you've finally decided to get the tongue stud and the leather chaps and wear only Versace mesh T-shirts and stiletto boots and walk the world like you're forever on a catwalk. Clearly, you are very weird. For the rest of us fashion-forward folk, it's a whole panoply of designers, models, fads, hair, jewelry, and even fashion history. Ready for a new look? Bring it on.

IS THAT A DRAGON ON YOUR THIGH?: When the going gets rough, the rough get inked. Then again, nothing says "Bring on the new year" better than a nice dollop of ink injected straight into your skin, permanently, maybe a swell dragon or a flaming skull or picture of your favorite Backstreet Boy. We're talkin' tattoos, and we've got a great page for them too. (Buzz's advice: Avoid designs from the wall of most tattoo shops. Check the artist's portfolio, get something unique -- like a picture of a fierce half-naked Amazonian forest queen riding on the back of a giant wild boar. Or something.)

TAKE THIS JOB AND...: So you've got the new Montana ranch and the new lemon-yellow Ferrari and the sexy new tattoo and now of course it's time to march straight into your boss's office, strip to your underwear, sing 'Taps' at the top of your lungs, and saunter boldly out of that miserable cubicle farm and head to greener pastures. (Unless of course you're happy at your job, in which case we apologize to your boss and take it all back). It's the jobs page, on GO.com.

CAPRICORNS ARE COOL:
What does the new year hold? Will you find love/money/success/a decent burrito in this crazy convoluted world? GO.com's wildly popular Horoscopes know all, see all, tell all. And btw, Buzz Daley himself is a Capricorn. He prefers rockin' silver jewelry, Armani underwear, and cases of Grand Marnier as birthday gifts. In case you were, y'know, curious.

YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER:
As far as Buzz is concerned, you're already a big juicy winner because you've read this far and you're still hangin' and I love you for it, honest. But I gotta plug a coupla GO.com contests because, well, I have no shame and the marketing department is giving me that look again:

Actually Cool Contest # 1: Win a seat on Bill Maher's wry ABC TV show, "Politically Incorrect." Be a guest panelist! Rant about the state of the world! Meet some partially famous people! You'll love it. Probably.

Possibly Cool Contest # 2: It's something to do with "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire", because goodness knows we don't get enough of that show these days. It's called the "Millionaire HotSeat Draw3", and if you're a fan, you'll dig it for sure.

Easy Contest # 3: How about entering to win a 5-day ski vacation for two to Killington, VT?

Feedback
You have opinions, we have e-operators standing by. Write to Buzz and the GO.com gang at (Buzz_Daley@go.com), let us know how much you love FTWG and can't wait for the next issue. All negative comments will be taken very seriously and then immediately deleted so we don't get all depressed. Or visit the Buzz Daley message board at GO.com, and let us know what you think (Hint: Chocolate chip cookie recipes and sundry marriage proposals take top priority.)

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Disclaimer
Not responsible for the state of the universe as it exists at this point in time. No one ever remembers to drink enough water. Prefab teenybopper boy bands are a sure sign of the apocalypse. Don't even think of parking here.

All contents (c) (tm) 2001 GO.com. Any similarities to any persons living or dead are purely strange. No goldfish were harmed in the creation of this newsletter, so far as you know.